"It's much better to be prepared and not asked, than to be asked and not prepared."
Otherwise, you will be slapped silly and totally unprepared how to answer your daughter when your little princess asks the big question (one of many) that no one thought to prepare you for ... "Momma, when can I start shaving?"
It totally caught this Momma way off guard. (Surely, my little girl didn't just ask me what I think she just asked me.) Yep, I landed smack on the floor and did a double take ... Clamping my lips tight, I threw up a quick "Lord, did you hear what just happened? Please help me!" and was given the good sense to begin with, "Well, let me check with your aunts, I just can't remember what age it is?" (Uh! Like, there was a magic number and I just couldn't think of it.)
*You can stop laughing :)
It did buy me some time to ask my sister and sister-in-law, both having older girls, how they each survived this question. Of course without a breath, the next Q: "How old were you when you began shaving?" < I decided I did not even want to remember. Let's just press PAUSE so I can ask your aunts how to respond wisely. > I was so unprepared.
How did shaving legs get started anyway?
Honestly, it has always been a part of the beauty fashion statement. History indicates hair removal was practiced by women in ancient Egypt, Rome, and Greece and other royal courts. In Western countries, advertising promotions launched for this beauty ritual around 1915 as sleeveless and shorter dresses were worn by flappers (young women who were defying social norms). Smooth legs became more fashionable and quickly altered dress codes in the 1940's when movies and bathing suit pin-up posters celebrated actress Betty Grable's legs - which were actually insured for one-million dollars! Through the years hemlines on dresses have become shorter and women's swimsuits have become more revealing, displaying all of a woman's legs.
Shave or not to shave is simply a choice you make as a woman and mother. There is not a right and wrong answer. It strictly is your choice to shave or not to shave regardless of where you decide the appropriate hemline is for yourself and your daughters.
PREPARE for the big Q
Preparing your daughter gently and lovingly for womanhood is your responsibility. Be intentional. It is much better for you and your daughter to be aware, educated, and prepared for the changes ahead. Search the scriptures, seek wisdom from Godly people, and pray hard. Teaching your child to care for her body inside and outwardly is vital. Have mother-daughter girl talks. Prepare yourself for Momma's little girl asking big-girl questions. Plan ahead to celebrate her blooming assignment(s). It is a big deal!
If you decide shaving is appropriate, the next decision is to decide when to begin. Some moms choose to have a specific age to reach before allowing various beauty steps (wearing hosiery, high heels, mascara, shaving, etc) . It may keep your "yes" timeline easy and appear fair when you have more than one daughter. If you feel that number goals work best for your family, my thought is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." And, I highly recommend that you don't try to "fix", bash, or condemn others - especially when there is not a scripture to back up your preferred preference.
I do like (love) clear specific targets. However, as a mother of two daughters it didn't take long to figure out each one will bloom on her own God-given timeline and it will be just as unique as she is.
One daughter may not notice thicker hair growth on her legs until she is in her teens because her leg hair and skin color blend or it just didn't grow as thick until then. Yet, you may notice the thick, darker forest on another daughter's legs at a much earlier age. Hair growth is just as different as each girl's shape.
When to Start Shaving
"WHEN to shave" is just like "IF to shave" ... It's a Mother's prerogative.
Here are some tips to help decide when to shave:
READ the signs. Is she starting to see hair in places where she's never seen it before? When reaching puberty, she will have an increase in hormones (androgens) that causes darker hair on her legs, under your arms, and around private area to appear. Unfortunately for moms there is no benchmark number in age that girls hit that is the indicator for the need to begin shaving. Each girl will experience the growth of body hair at her own unique pace. Be aware it could be as early as nine years of age when she, or others, may begin to notice obvious hair growth. Other girls don’t reach that place in puberty until their teens. Now Wait. Yes, wait for more clues.
Survey reports indicate the majority of girls did not ask permission to shave their legs. To avoid the bloody danger in this sneakiness, build a healthy line of communication with your daughter, as well as look and listen for clues that it’s time to teach her how to shave:
- Is she a tween (between the age of 10 - 12) or teenager with an abundance of hair growth?
- Is she embarrassed by the amount of hair on her legs or underarms?
- Does she talk about wanting to shave?
- Why does she want to remove it?
- If your daughter has already asked you if she can shave, then know she perceives it to be a very important concern. Unwanted hair on her legs or under arms may make her feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. Sit down, listen, and talk with her.
- Remind her of the inner beauty qualities that are most important. Frequently letting her know how special she is in the sight of God will boost her self image and worth in the right direction. She needs to hear compliments from you. She is beautiful. The message should always be healthy choices including positive grooming with the goal of a healthy temple to honor God.
- Does she understand the hair does grow back? Shaving is not a one-time solution to the problem. Explain to her the commitment required. Ask her if she feels responsible enough to add shaving to her regular bathing routine. Remind her that she will need to budget more time to take showers if she begins shaving.
- If you remember your own first shaving experience, share it with her.
- Share the risk of painful cuts that bleed and even scars caused by shaving incorrectly. (I still cringe when I recall my little sister taking a hunk out of her own leg shaving... ouch!)
- Does your daughter think she can do it?
- After reviewing the tips above, does she still want to do it?
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| Being beautiful on the inside is everything; feeling beautiful never hurt a thing. GracefulGab.blogspot.com |
- Gabbie, rubbing her hand over her leg, still remembers how amazingly smooth her legs were after her very first shave. (@12 years old) Her leg hair blended with her skin tone and wasn't as obviously seen so it became a topic of discussion at a later age.
- Gracie, my youngest daughter, remembers clearly that it was at the end of 4th grade when she first asked permission to shave because "my legs were soooo hairy." As we had our talk, I explained her leg hair will continue to grow (Oh, what a big disappointment.) and it will require the big responsibility of keeping her legs shaved. She made the decision to wait a bit longer. It was just in time to wear springtime clothes, (@11 1/2 years old), when the question came up again. I said, "Yes" and trained her how.
I really did start with the intention to set an easy-for-me much higher benchmark number to hit before my girls would be allowed to shave their legs. It seemed pretty cut and dry. Reality reminded me how uniquely different each girl's chemistry, character, likes/dislikes, mood swings, and even body hair is. Our girls being born in opposite seasons also played a role of when I decided to say yes. Gabbie turned 12 in the spring so the smooth legs were a wonderful feeling and look come summer time. I could have made Gracie deal with having very hairy legs all summer just to hit a perfect 12 in the fall, but I didn't.
Being beautiful on the inside is everything; feeling beautiful never hurt a thing.
Note:
Most people cannot love others, because ...
they have not learned to love their self.
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.This is the first and great commandment.And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
they have not learned to love their self.
Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.This is the first and great commandment.And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
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For those of you with the idea that grooming of the outward appearance should be completely avoided, take note:
Beautiful Women in the Bible
SARAI
Genesis 12:11, 14 When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance … When Abram entered Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful.
REBEKAH
Genesis 24:16 The young woman was very attractive in appearance, a maiden whom no man had known. She went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up.
ESTHER
Esther 2:7 He was bringing up Hadassah, that is Esther, the daughter of his uncle, for she had neither father nor mother. The young woman had a beautiful figure and was lovely to look at, and when her father and her mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter.
SOLOMON'S BRIDE
Song of Solomon 4:1 Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! Your eyes are doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
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Psalm 90:17 And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.
Watch for
MOMMA GEAR: HOW DO I TEACH MY DAUGHTER TO SHAVE HER LEGS?
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